Keep Cool is episode 7b of Comedy World. It aired on syndication on April 18, 1998.
It's the hottest day ever known and Eric and PC Guy are trying to find ways to cool off.
- Eric as himself
- Brian as PC Guy
- Paul as himself
- Susan (silent cameo)
- Dallas as himself
- Diesel as Storeclerk
- French Fry as Bodyguard
- Eric's baby pool is later seen in Lemon-aid.
- In early 2001 airings, a couple seconds of the PB&J Otter episode, "Too Hot for Fishicles" aired before the title card could display. This was cut out to avoid duplication.
- When PC Guy is melting, his tie turns black for a split second.
- When Eric said "a certain someone", his mouth was misplaced.
[We open up with Eric and PC Guy sitting in Eric's old baby pool]
PC Guy: Well, this sure is nice.
Eric: Yeah. The weather today isn't too hot or too cold.
[A sun ray hits the brothers, along with the rest of the city]
PC Guy: NOW IT'S TOO HOT!!!!
Paul: [runs out of the Pearson's house with Susan] We're gonna go off to the South Pole. PC Guy, please take care of Eric! [drives off in a van]
Eric: This stinks!
[Suddenly, a dehydrated flower makes a hole in the pool with a straw and drinks all the remaining water]
PC Guy: You stay here while I go get packs of ice cubes. [runs to the house to check the fridge, only to find ice cubes melting] OH, COME ON!
Eric: [zips in] You do know that a certain someone has a swimming pool, right?
PC Guy: [grins] I think you're talking about our ole pal, Stanley. Let's go check his backyard out, shall we?
[Cuts to the backyard of Stanley's mansion]
PC Guy: [gasps] He invited all of his allies but us to a pool party!
Eric: Let's use a unicorn to go over this gate.
PC Guy: [pulls up his right sleeve] No thanks. I'm gonna go handle this myself. [walks up to a bodyguard]
Bodyguard: Sorry, but you're not invited.
PC Guy: NOT INVITED?! I'll always be invited - even in a million years!
Bodyguard: Please get out, before serious consequences occur.
Eric: [butts in] Can we pretty please join the cool jamboree we're missing out on?
[Three more bodyguards appear, angry]
PC Guy: Uh oh, they're staring at us maliciously. RUN, ERIC!
[The duo start running. Halfway through the chase, Eric crashes into a brick wall]
Eric: [stars circle his head] Mommy... I need... my bankie.
PC Guy: [melting] Hurry up! We need to continue finding ways to keep cool during this terrible heatwave! I mean, the temperature just raised up to 864 degrees!
Eric: Alright, alright. Ya know, we should've just gone to the South Pole like Mom and Dad.
[Cuts to the South Pole, where Paul and Susan are frozen in blocks of ice]
Paul: (Muffled) I regret nothing.
[Cuts back to the Pearson brothers, who are now at the uptown of Lakeside City]
Eric: A-ha! A meat factory!
PC Guy: Eric, I don't think going in there is such a good idea.
Eric: Ahh, stop being a chicken.
PC Guy: Well, I guess it's die out here or go to the factory.
[Fades to a slaughterhouse]
PC Guy: This room is abandoned. I don't wanna know what's going to happen next...
Eric: At least we're cold now.
PC Guy: [hears a chainsaw revving] THERE'S NO BRIGHT SIDE! [grabs Eric's arm and runs off with him] That was a close one. Now that we're back in the uptown of Lakeside, now what?
Eric: You wanna know what's really close?
PC Guy: What?
Eric: This here ice maker.
[Eric pushes a red button on the ice maker, producing ice cubes]
PC Guy: It's a dream come true! Let me give that baby a try.
Eric: Go ahead!
[PC Guy pushes the red button several times, making the machine's size expand]
Eric: Woooo! [jumps in the pool of ice cubes, but it melts] Darn it.
[The machine's size decreases]
PC Guy: Goshdoggit! Why must the ice freeze?
[Cuts to the sun putting on sunglasses]
Sun: Deal with it, son.
[The camera pans back to Eric & PC Guy]
PC Guy: A-ha! We can find some shade!